Life, as we all know, is full of being hurt, rejected or disappointed. Some of us experience these things in a relationship sense, others in their career and some in more than one area which can feel totally unbearable but truth to be told, hurts and disappointment can be a blessing in disguise regardless of the emotional pain you are feeling. If you want to find out how and why then read on.
Wasn’t right for you
When we imagine our future we think if this or that happened then we would be happier and more contented so if we can’t get that thing or person our dream / fantasy is shattered and our hearts break into a million pieces that is difficult to fix, the cracks will always be there but sometimes, you have to feel the pain in order to realise maybe that thing you thought was good for you wasn’t right for you all along.
For example, the founder of BoM in his career has had several major disappointments that really hurt. He graduated with honours from Architecture in 2008, determined to make it but the world economic recession stopped him going further, he then tried teaching but this time didn’t enjoy the school environment so yet another disappointment and to finish it off his ex fiancée left him after she chose to end a seven year relationship on boxing day.
This example shows deep amounts of disappointments and emotional pain but all of those things probably weren’t right for him. Yes, he thought they all were at the time of experiencing them and maybe they were at the time, he could design buildings and maybe make lots of money in the future, yes he could teach and move up the ladder to eventually become a head but, both careers were not making him feel ‘happy’ or ‘contented’ in life and the relationship he was in at the time wasn’t any good for him either as it had become a burden rather than an enjoyable experience.
It is several years down the line that he was able to look back and realise…although disappointed in every aspect of the experiences he had it was the best thing for his life in the long term.
Keep going through the pain or change direction
Disappointment hurts and it hurts bad but as long as you don’t give up and you realise the positives from your experience you can take those elements from the pain forward into your next life experience.
So whether you have just come out of a long term relationship you can remember what was good about it but also things you didn’t like about it so that when you are ready there will be someone or something out there who is just right for what you are looking for, in fact, it is more than likely more than one person fits your ‘dream criteria’.
Or if it is your career that hasn’t gone as you expected, maybe look at the skills you have amassed and think about how you might be able to use them but in a subject you really have a passion for. Check out careers advice websites and see if you can find some direction to take next.
We can get too comfortable
It is human nature to want to be comfortable. A nice house, a nice partner, somewhere to set down your roots and a nice cozy job where everything is always rosey. Truth be told, if we lived this way we stop growing and developing ourselves and our life becomes dull and boring. When you become a pensioner do you want to look back at your life to be an adventure or a comfy pillow?
Disappointment helps make your life more interesting! If everything always goes right then when you tell your story back to others it won’t be very exciting, it won’t be amazing to people that you overcame nothing and it won’t impress yourself either. Every great movie has a great struggle that is eventually overcome.
If you use the energy of disappointment you can push yourself to make your life story an adventure rather than staying in one place, doing the one job and being with the one person who doesn’t make you feel very good, disappointment can be a motivator to get out of comfort zone.
Sometimes you don’t realise a disappointment is a nudge in the right direction until later on
When disappointment happens you don’t see the future, you tend just see the current situation and look towards the past.
Looking forward is almost impossible when emotionally hurt by something or someone but as you heal or manage your pain and move forward you will realise that you have overcome the disappointments and that everything that happened to you not only taught you a lesson about yourself and what you need in your life but also about the experience itself and gaining strength from going through the painful time.
Disappointment leads to where you are meant to be
Disappointment rears its ugly face ever so often in life, even when we think we are content and happy and finally in a ‘good place’.
It is like someone is secretly telling us ‘it’s time for change, this isn’t good for you any more’.
Even when the change has happened that change may need further change a few years down the line as you have outgrown the change, you have changed as a person, what you need from life has changed.
Disappointment can just be an indication we have got too comfortable and it is time to challenge ourselves back to the next level. So next time you are feeling disappointed rather than feel ‘oh my god, this pain is unbearable!‘ try to start to analyse what was good about the situation, what would have made it better and what you learnt about yourself from the experience.
How do you deal with disappointment? Have you any experience of where a bad experience that you didn’t expect ended up being a blessing in disguise? Please comment below.