Why healing yourself is important? The last two years of our lives have been challenging for everyone to say the least. For some, it may be financial reasons, for others, social or even mentally and emotionally. No one got out of this easily! In the UK, where I am based we have had several lockdowns, working from home, wearing masks and having lots of time to take stock of the situation. I will admit, 2020 I found much easier than 2021. For me, I felt 2020 was a breather to reflect on what I wanted to do with my life and where I wanted to be headed in 2021. But then for me personally, it felt as though 2021 threw as many spanners in the work as it could!
Realisation Sets In
I realised I had a LOT of internal work to do on MYSELF. How could I help others when I, myself, was not truly in the best of places. I was just masking how I truly felt to the world pre-covid and now it was surfacing to deal with. It is in this blog I will discuss my experiences of the 2020/21 COVID period of time, the therapy and self-development I undertook and the plans for 2022.
2020 Lockdown Experience
2020, I found a lot easier than 2021. I started the year getting engaged to the most amazing woman. I then managed to get away to various locations. Even Rome just before it went into a second lockdown (and very few tourists)! For that I know I was blessed, it’s a beautiful country. I worked from home as a web designer, so saved money on commuting. As the world went quiet it became in some ways much more serene. Below is a video I created as I got up as the sun rose each day to capture the experience and leave a profound message to those who may be struggling.
Then, towards the end of the year, I was put on furlough where I got 80% of my pay and all the time to do what I wanted to do. It felt uncertain but also kind of liberating. The furlough experience was fortunate really as 2021 was not going to be as smooth as 2020.
The mood changed starting Christmas 2020 and why healing yourself is important
Christmas 2020 in the UK was a strange one. We were at a stage where some people were feeling so afraid of COVID, whereas others tried their best to live as normal as possible. Borris decided that we could celebrate Christmas in our ‘support bubbles’ and had arranged for test centres to be dotted throughout the country for extra peace of mind. My eldest sister was one of the first to contract COVID in the UK and so had learnt the effects of the virus. She was sick for months. It wasn’t nice for her partner or her to say the least and she had great anxiety about our parents getting COVID due to their age.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I hadn’t had it and I go to the gym, keep myself relatively healthy, meditate often and usually have an optimistic view of life even when things are challenging or aren’t going as expected.
Anyway, the day before Christmas, the test centres opened… wow, insane queues! I had planned to have a test but they were 3 hours long! I was on my own and there was no way I was standing in a queue that long alone. So I didn’t get tested but my older sister did and she put it all over social media. This made me feel awful. It did upset me that I couldn’t do it but I refused to let this situation stop a proper Christmas happening with my family.
Even though she was tested negative and I wasn’t tested, I met up with my family and the eldest sibling didn’t. These opposing viewpoints of how to proceed meant we fell out and disconnected from each other and we still struggle to talk. This was the beginning of a difficult time for my personal life in 2021.
Why healing yourself is important, the start of change – January 2021
As I had started to feel the effect of the uncertainty of being on furlough, and the disagreements about how to behave during the pandemic my mental health started to become affected. I decided to seek therapy for myself. I could feel myself becoming a little down so I spoke with a therapist who specialises in EFT and energy medicine The Heart Seat of The Soul. EFT helped me work on emotional surface issues that I was feeling due to the situation which was simply like peeling back an onion! Thought after thought arose as you dealt with one thing, another thing came up.
Realisation through EFT
I saw in my mind’s eye my younger sister as a young girl of 7 ( she is 25 now ) and she has suffered from severe anorexia, anxiety and body dysmorphia from the age of 15. I saw how when I went to university to study Architecture at 21 and also met a woman who I had put all my energy into, I saw how it had affected her when she was 7. It broke my heart. I care about my younger sister as a much older big brother does. Realising she felt I was leaving her life at that stage and I had spent so much time playing and making her laugh virtually every day hurt her. I only saw my need for a better career and, being a man, having a deep interest in women as a man of that age does but I also felt a deep regret when I realised it hurt her.
Choosing to help my younger sister – Jan 2021
My younger sister has been dealing with eating disorder thoughts since the age of 15…she was having mental health challenges before lockdown and she had befriended a troubled man at a drama group, who also had potentially worse issues, a couple of years ago when she was just coming out of her recovery.
She spent more and more time with him so the family, including myself, rarely saw her. It was a very sad time for us. With the first lockdown, they were both going down to London so my parents told her to stay in his flat due to self-isolation rules. That was in 2020. Lockdown compounded her mental health issues particularly not having the family circle nearby.
I became aware, due to my EFT, that my younger sister was not ok in January 2021 and so decided to go around to this ‘friends’ flat with a Megadrive for entertainment as they were crawling the walls. The friend and I had fallen out in previous years due to his unwavering desire to be my sister bf even though everyone, including herself, had said no as he had a lot of issues and she didn’t find him attractive. He wouldn’t let it drop so it infuriated everyone in the family as he also looked to latch himself onto the whole family. He managed to stay attached to her as much as he possibly could which was difficult for all the family involved.
Anyway, he had become afraid of me and when he heard I was coming he was nervous. Not wanting to cause a fight, I made peace with him straight away so he wasn’t afraid if only so I could get closer to my sister. I will admit, when I saw her, she looked terrible, I could see how ill she was and her friend was making her worse. There’s more to this but it’s too long and complex to go into.
Bf and sister move in with me – Jan 2021 – Apr 2021
My sister met a bf just before lockdown and was living in the shared flat as well. He and the friend weren’t getting on so I told them to move in with me. For the next 5 months not only was I undertaking remote EFT therapy but I was also trying to assist in moving my sister away from this toxic friend and help my sister’s bf into a better career. I spoke to him about his past, his career and rewrote his cv. He didn’t believe in himself and he needed someone to show him his strengths! My partner and I helped him and then applied for several jobs and got him one where he increased his salary threefold. He was very grateful but in the end, the toxicity between my sister’s friend and my sister had taken its toll and he left.
Still on furlough and still trying to resolve my sister’s crisis – May 2021
Thankfully I was still on furlough in May so I was able to assist my family with this issue much easier than if I hadn’t been. If I was working again there’s no way I would have been able to be involved as much as I was. It really affected my mental health as the friends started to act in strange ways to try and maintain control. I even had to convince the family I was acting in a correct way when reporting the friend’s behaviour to medical professionals. That was one of the most difficult experiences of my life, to go against my parent’s wishes as I knew it was the right thing to do and in the end, they also see it was the right thing.
Joined the Interaction Design Foundation – May 2021
I also decided to join The Interaction Design Foundation and gained several courses. UX is something I am greatly interested in with my background in web, architecture and design so seemed to make natural sense to progress into this. I’m still a member and highly enjoying the experience!
Tony Robbins Virtual UPW June 2021 – Why Healing Yourself Is Important?
I’ve always been a great admirer of Tony Robbins and I attended a New world new you free webinar with him in January via zoom but he then had an incredible offer to join a virtual UPW with him in June for such a cut price! I couldn’t refuse and booked it for just after my birthday. My sister was now at my parents so I could totally focus on raising my energy and changing my focus.
It was such an amazing 3 days of intense self-development but totally worth it! See below just one of the things I learnt from being a part of the UPW. Priming. I now do this most mornings or at least, I meditate. Why healing yourself is important? It allows you to focus on what matters most.
After this experience, I had a totally different energy and optimism after quite a difficult period and I started attracting more opportunities and just had a better state of mind! This clearly shows why healing yourself is important.
New World, New Job – June/July 2021
Why Healing Yourself Is Important? Well, after UPW I found myself in a much better place mentally and emotionally and attracted a job opportunity with more money.
I wasn’t going to turn this down with no communication about my previous position from my current boss, it made sense with furlough ending. The job started well but sitting in a shed ( yes a shed ) inside a converted warehouse with only half an hour lunch and artificial lighting in the office due to no windows and getting home at 6:30 pm, probably wasn’t ideal.
I began to feel my energy levels begin to drop again and I had no time to work on my own vision of Seek A Therapy.
Not the right environment – Aug / Oct 2021
We moved office and the one next to us had a very thin wall, had young, immature, loud, people often making stupid noises and behaviour. With no natural light and realistically, only a 30-minute break at lunch to get daylight, I realised I had to make a change.
John Lee Social Media Training – Oct 2021
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John Lee is a master at social media and digital marketing. After the UPW The Success Resource put on a free webinar where several people talked about various other courses for further development. John impressed me greatly and I could see he was the missing piece I needed in order to market Seek A Therapy ( or other therapists websites ) to a wider audience and make it a more profitable business. When he offered a discounted fee for the course I jumped on it!
EMDR Therapy – Nov/Dec 2021
I was right! I got so much from his course that now I am creating products and implementing plans for my own social media and business strategy and will be implementing new plans for Seek A Therapy to make it a more useful site for therapists and those seeking therapy alike!
With the office environment being so unhealthy I have found myself, yet again, challenged mentally and needing therapy.
It has brought up trauma to the surface that I’ve held on to for over ten years! I thought that I had dealt with but I hadn’t, I had just buried it and kept replaying the experience.
So I went on the hunt for a therapist who could help.
Not somebody who has tried EMDR before I was apprehensive but it was the best thing I could have done. It really helped to discuss the issue with someone and I felt myself return to some sense of ‘normal’ pre-new job. I am still seeking therapy with my new therapist as I think it’s important to continue to improve my way of thinking particularly as I plan such big things for Seek A Therapy and I want to assist others in finding the help they need.
Plans for December
The beautiful part of all of this is that I get married on 8th December to the most amazing woman which strangely, I proposed at the start of 2020, just before the first lockdown, and this feels as though it is the end of the difficult COVID period so allow for a fresh start in 2022.
2022 – The Start of Change
So as you can see, I’ve been challenged during this previous year. It was difficult to work on Seek a Therapy when I needed support myself.
This explains why, even if you have been through previous trials and tribulations, the need for therapy isn’t a one-off, it should be a regular thing. Healing yourself is important. I realised, I needed to work on myself to get well before I could assist others on their journeys. How can you pour from an empty cup?
I’ve developed myself mentally, emotionally and improved my skillset in 2021 but it has been a very rocky road. I now realise, even when you have healed, there will always be times to revisit therapy as life creates new challenges. After all this experience, I have changed, healed old wounds, grown new skills and it’s the perfect time to implement and take action on growing Seek A Therapy!
This month I am putting together a business plan, a social media plan, creating useful products and improving Seek A Therapy for therapists and those seeking therapy alike. Here is what is planned: –
- New paid membership ( free if you already have a membership and are signed up before launch in 2022 as a thank you ) where you will be able to watch videos and download reference materials to build a better and stronger online presence from my experience of over ten years in the web and digital marketing industry throughout London and Liverpool.
- You will also be allowed discounts on digital support towards web design, social media marketing and SEO if you have a membership with Seek A Therapy.
- Complete descriptions of different types of therapy.
- Add how different therapies can help different types of common conditions such as depression/anxiety.
- Aiming to grow our following to 100k on all social platforms within 2022 and expand our reach.
- We will be looking to interview all types of therapists on what they do and how it can be beneficial via podcasting and/or video which will be a free promotion for your practice.
- A refresh of the brand.
- Look into improving the search functionality
- Improving the listings so they provide more information.
- And this is just the tip of the iceberg!
We look forward to 2022 and the opportunities I am sure it will allow us to help more people, help more people! If you have any questions or comments please don’t hesitate to contact us using our contact form or one of our social platforms.