Quite often, we find that rather than being positive about situations, people are naturally drawn to point out ‘what is wrong’ about their current situation and forget the good that is in front of them. It’s not always the fault of the person in question as maybe they have had a string of terrible events that has wired their brain into negative thinking habits but it can change. In this blog post we explore why most of the time it can help to learn everything is ‘mind over matter’.
Every cloud really does have a silver lining
When going through difficult, challenging times it seems as though everything is against you and you can’t see things improving any time soon, you begin to loose hope of the life you imagine coming to fruition and your thoughts remain negative and depressive which just compounds the problem further.
Although it doesn’t feel like it when experiencing depression there are positives out of even the most difficult time and it is important to be aware of how we are thinking in order to begin to change our mind from a negative into a positive.
Every situation has a good point even if it has led to you experiencing something unpleasant in your life. Simply assessing the problem you have experienced or about to can really help you see life in a brighter way.
Task : Observe & challenge your thought
When you are aware of you thinking something negative and it has an effect on your emotions and state of being, don’t just pass it of, pay attention to it.
Now whatever the thought is that consistently upsets you I want you to try and see the positive aspect in it. Here is an example from personal experience to help you on your own journey…
Some of the things that the founder of BoM had to change in order to feel better about life.
“I will never get a job because there are few jobs in my hometown and I am overqualified and under experienced” changed to “I will get a job wherever in the world I need to go”.
“I have to walk 2 miles from the train station to work and 2 miles back to the station at the end of the day” altered to “4 miles walking is great exercising and is keeping me fit.”
“I don’t want to leave my hometown, my family and everything I have known is here, why should I have to?” to “Moving to somewhere else can let me experience a new part of the world”
“I’ve made so many mistakes, I want to start life again, I want to end it all, there is no hope or way I can change things for the better.” to “I have made bad decisions but these decisions and difficult experiences will teach me life lessons and make me stronger and more determined than ever. Due to these experiences I have led me to meeting my wife, doing a job I enjoy and becoming more compassionate and empathetic to people suffering.”
“I wasted 7 years of my life in a demanding and unfulfilling relationship” to “by having that relationship I know what I don’t want from a partner and will never allow that to happen again.”
So from all those negative experiences, he kept thinking positive, he tried to, as often as possible, see the good in all things and all people. He doesn’t always succeed but he tries and by doing this it does make hard times easier to manage.
Keep repeating this task
Any time you have a negative thought you have to challenge it and you have to observe the positive aspect even if you don’t feel like it. Talking to yourself and challenging the negative will more often than not improve the quality of your life and make what you thought you needed to be happy be less prevalent.
It won’t matter as much what you ‘don’t have’ in your life, what will matter is that you appreciate the positives in every aspect of life even when you may think it is entirely a negative experience there is always something to be grateful for and a lesson to have learned.
Repeating this process will eventually give you a more positive outlook on whatever it is you have to face in life and can help in warding away depression from resurfacing it’s ugly face.
How you think can make anything seem ok
How I have wrote this article makes it sound an easy task to undertake but to consciously choose to change your thought patterns and processes takes time, effort and energy.
Don’t be hard on yourself, to be consistently positive takes time
Sometimes you will manage to see the positives whilst the negative tries to creep back into view and at times, the negative wins and you feel low again.
Your journey of trying to think more positively is down to a consistent effort but don’t be hard on yourself, it takes time to keep being aware of your thoughts and changing them, when you can’t see the good in the bad, have a rest, there is always tomorrow.
If you are interested in this technique I would recommend consulting a cognitive behaviour therapist who can help guide you if you require further guidance.
