Dealing with a work place bully can sometimes be difficult. We all need to have a profession, it doesn’t matter where you come from. A profession affords you a certain standard of living and gives you a sense of purpose in life too. Unfortunately, there are sometimes people in your career that you meet that can be difficult. For some reason they take a dislike towards you and take out all their stress on you. This can lead to feeling stressed, anxious, worthless and depressed. Obviously the impact of work place bullying on your mental welfare is huge. In ths blog we discuss the best ways of dealing with work place bullying.
Having experienced workplace bullying first hand, the founder of Seek A Therapy knows how to deal with a bully in a professional manner. Here are his top tips to dealing with a work place bully before it destroys you, your health and possibly affect your colleagues too.
1. Create and keep notes of times and what happened and how it made you feel.
This is my no.1 top tip and should be started as soon as you suspect the person is starting to bully you. By creating a journal of their actions it helps you build a case against your bully. Even better, forward emails to your personal email accounts for your record. This workbook and storage of emails can then be given to someone else who is in charge of the business. It can also build a case against the person in question should it need to escalate ( hopefully not ). Fundamentally, it’ll help you remember all the things that happened when discussing and addressing the people in question.
2. Don’t show that they are getting to you
Bully’s thrive on seeing that they are winning and beating you down. They will hate it if you are coping okay with how they are mistreating you. Know that you are a good person and keep doing what you are doing. It may be that they are jealous of you or see you as a threat. Or maybe they know you are a strong good person and open to speaking out against mistreatment. Whatever the bully’s reason for targeting you, remain happy and let their words fall away. Attempt to remain positive with your other colleagues.
3. Don’t believe what they say
Bullies can be very cruel and will say the most hurtful things. Sometimes not even directly, which can be worse as it may start to make you feel paranoid. I know it is difficult, but feel the emotion you are feeling, let it in and then let it go. Change the thought from one of “they said this about me!?” to “silly people, I am a good person, I know I have done good and am a good person”. Basically, stay positive and keep focusing on your positive aspects no matter how someone tries to bring you down.
4. Realise workplace bullies are weak
Have you ever noticed something about a bully? They only thrive when they are surrounded by others? A person who bullies or hurts someones emotional and mental state of mind is a weak person, fact. They try to bring someone else down to make themselves feel good.
It is sometimes good to realise that the bully is not as powerful as they like to think. This can be quite a liberating realisation to you.
5. Don’t keep it to yourself
Once you feel you have built a case against your bully it is time to speak to someone. Don’t fear loosing your job because if your manager or boss doesn’t take it seriously they are in breach of the law. Not only this but, they also aren’t worth working for if they don’t take their employee’s welfare seriously. Ther saying is true, without health you have nothing. So ensure your job is a part of your healthy life.
6. If it doesn’t change you change
If the situation doesn’t change and the bully doesn’t get reprimanded then it is time to move on. There are plenty of businesses out there in this world just because you leave doesn’t mean they have won. It simply means that your health is more important than a petty fool ruining your life.
Dealing with a work place bully correctly
Dealing with a bullying experience is really really difficult. The founder remember feeling extremely trapped in his situation so can emphasis. The feeling they have power over your life and career is not a nice one.
By following the above steps you’ll ensure they have to deal with your concerns. They will also never be able to do the same thing to future colleagues. Which is sometimes more important than vengeance.
Once you have dealt correctly with a bully it will empower you for the future. You will spot the warning signs and you will not tolerate it for you or for others. It will give you the ability to help others and also to become more assertive and confrontational.
Remember to remain calm, kind and hard working whatever is happening. You do not need to keep suffering, tell someone about your experience. If it isn’t taken seriously start applying for new jobs. Always remember, your health is the most important.
How do you manage your workplace bullying? Do you have any more tips you can share below?