This weekend I had been back home for my family member’s birthday, a place 200 miles away from where they all live so I usually get the train back to see them. It was really nice to see them all and I was grateful for the time I was able to spend with them having very little opportunity to.
Then the days passed, I had to leave to go back to my job and thus I checked my national rail app…
Someone has been hit by a train
When I hear this news that someone has been hit by a train I don’t instantly think about how do I get home but instead why would someone go in this most awful way. This level of desperation is a cry for help and a feeling of things never able to improve, but things can , no matter how terrible it currently is.
I have been clinically at risk of suicide in the past so I know the agony you feel in your heart and the racing thoughts that pass through your mind and know of the desperation for change no matter how extreme that change is, it is a final stop but NEVER the right one and here are a list of things to think about when you feel so low…
- Do not feel ashamed – everyone struggles at times in life so don’t suffer alone or be too proud to step forward, you are truly strong to admit you want change!
- You won’t affect anyone or be noticed – When I was suicidal something that crossed my mind was that no one noticed me and how hard I had worked for an education so was considering suicide to not only relieve me of pain but make a statement and to be noticed ‘why has he took his life?’ . Truth is no one will notice if you do this, and of course, gives you less chance of actually being noticed whilst here if you take this final step. You may make someone have a longer journey for a single day or be shocked and traumatised for a moment but then likely to be forgotten by the general public.
- Your family and friends WILL notice for the rest of their lives – people that truly care about you WILL notice and it will create a huge void and an unbearable pain in their heart for the rest of their lives. Don’t think you will be forgotten after time, you won’t, in fact, it will cause more pain to those you love you leave behind than anything else that is possible in this world. It doesn’t matter if you’ve made mistakes people who love you will always love unconditionally.
- Things really can improve – when you are in a very very dark place and you can’t see the light or how to overcome your feelings it is hard to imagine things improving, but they can with support. Then when you have support you can do what is necessary to set yourself goals and targets and try to fulfill your goals of a better and more comfortable life. Even after I had put 33k of unearned income into an education I was not going to use, lived in place with few jobs that I was either over qualified or under experienced to do and in a destructive relationship, I still managed to turn it around and with support you can too!
- Your pain and experience will make you stronger and more compassionate – Once you overcome your feelings and the heaviness of what you are feeling it REALLY WILL make you stronger and usually more compassionate to others. You begin to see the world in a different light and things that used to bother you will reduce to a lesser scale as time passes by. Once you heal you will be much stronger and will then be able to use your story to help others grow stronger and recover to a place of peace and wellbeing.
- There is always someone to help you find a way back to recovery – even when family and friends are hard to find The Samaritans, CLASP Charity, your GP and other charities will also be there to help you on the road to recovery to help you out of your feelings of despair. Please seek help today by contacting your local suicide prevention.
The male suicide rate in 2013 was the highest since 2001. The lowest male rate since the beginning of the data series, at 16.6 per 100,000, was in 2007. Female rates have stayed relatively constant since 2007
Life can go from one of total darkness to one where things start to go right for you. No matter the darkness it can be overcome, many people are compassionate, have your interest at heart and are there to support you, google suicide prevention line now or contact CLASP charity or the samaritans today!
The real consequence of suicide
The consequence of suicide won’t help you and it will create a pain in your loved ones beyond comprehension. Please seek help and support as I know your current situation and your health can improve.
Having only just launched this website live two days ago, had my travel affected by someone who was hit by a train, and experienced the despair of hopelessness, knowing I felt it 4 years ago, I wanted to discuss the importance of talking and some thoughts that may pass through the minds of someone who is desperate.
…although your current situation is difficult you can still change it.
Remember, suicide in the end only affects the people you really care about and yes feelings and experiences in life can really hurt but don’t give up, you deserve to be happy and you deserve help and support, things can improve.
I never imagined that my life could turn on its head like it has. Of course, there is still room for improvement but I over came a lot of the very dark feelings. Being just a very average guy, I truly believe that if I can recover then you can too!
Speak to your GP or the Samaritans today, there are people WHO REALLY WANT TO HELP!