Overcome being afraid of change can be a challenge for a lot of people, in fact, it is difficult for most people. The majority of people want a peaceful life and change and movement is not the easiest of things to experience particularly if you have had a lot of difficulties recently. In this blog post, we share 11 tips on how to change your life if you really want it to be different. I hope at least one of these resonate with you.
1. Be inspired by people who have beaten difficult circumstances
Most people that we see as successful we think they have landed on their feet, born into wealth or walked straight into a high position. More often than not it is not the case. Harry Potter Author JK Rowling suffered from severe depression for a long time before she made a success of her stories, Peter Dinklage went from sofa to sofa in New York trying to make ends meet before he eventually became a successful actor in his 30s.
Find people you admire, discover their stories and try your best to also follow their life’s path and your own dreams.
For the founder of Battle of Mind, Duncan Bannatyne was always a great inspiration and so he read his autobiography and discovered that it wasn’t till he was almost bankrupt at the age of 30 that he started making his businesses, starting with ice cream vans in Scotland and expanding to many different business industries.
Find your inspiration.
2. Take ownership of changing your life
It would be great if someone would just change our life for us wouldn’t it? Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. We take the risks, we prepare for failure, and we have to stand up and keep moving forward whatever happens.
When we understand if we really want our life to change we must take action, even if it is simply speaking to a GP, therapist or specialist in life transformation, we must take the first step in reaching out.
We MUST take ownership of our life’s circumstances.
3. Reflect on your life
Okay so you may be at rock-bottom right now, I completely understand, I have been there 6 years ago, I had completed a degree in architecture and also teaching but with a large debt and no opportunity where I lived. Unable to move as my ex fiance wasn’t supportive and decided to leave me. So literally, at one point of my life, I had nothing! It is painful to be at rock bottom. Literally painful, and tiring. But when you are at rock bottom, it is the perfect time to reflect on life.
Something as difficult as this IS physical, emotionally painful and tiring but when you are at rock bottom, it is the perfect time to reflect on life and decisions made as you have more time to do so.
Writing Down Disappointments
Writing down things you are disappointed about and then, on a separate piece of paper, how you would like your life to pan out in future.
Look at your disappointments and heartaches you have written, can you see benefits that came from each thing that didn’t go the way you wanted?
For example, me not becoming an architect gave me empathy for people who have disappointment in life and also led me to become a web / graphic designer in order to build battleofmind.com and seekatherapy.com. Likewise, when my ex-fiancee left me although it was difficult it also made me relieved as I could just focus on getting my own life back on track and not feel responsible for her as well.
Likewise, when my ex-fiancee left me, although it was difficult, it also gave me feelings of relief as I could just focus on getting my own life back on track and not feel responsible for her as well.
Disappointments can actually set us up for greater things in future and why it is important to reflect on the past and take the positives out of those experiences you wish you hadn’t had.
4. Accept Help
Unfortunately, whether we want it or not we must accept help from people when we want to change.
It may be a GP, it may be a therapist, or it may simply be a family or friend.
Accepting help is definitely not weak, it is a sign of strength to accept you may need a hand to get back on your feet and there is no shame in that.
Even now, even when I, the founder of Battle of Mind occasionally still seek therapy from stress and worries. For instance, I once did a floatation tank where it completely relaxed my mind and removed any form of stress, you can read about that experience here.
There is no shame in seeking help, it’s important to help get yourself stronger again.
5. Set Goals
Set goals to help identify what things in life you want to change. It may be a new relationship, it may be a new job, it may be to increase your wealth or it may to simply get your mind to a state of peace. Whatever it is setting goals will give you a focus to draw your attention to rather than festering upon your thoughts of disappointment and depression.
Overcome being afraid of change by setting goals to aim for.
6. Relax and Enjoy Life
Strange as it may seem relaxing is an important part of making change happen. Watch a movie, go out for a walk, exercise, play a video game, go for a bike ride, whatever it is you love to do more of it, it will help you alleviate any sense of stress and help in having a state of mind where you are willing to make change happen.
Overcome being afraid of change by trying to enjoy yourself more.
7. Meditate and/or look into mindfulness
Meditation is a fantastic tool for all people to maintain a peaceful mind. Meditation focuses on the breath and regulates how you breathe. Daily practice of meditation can help you in clearing your mind of any thoughts you may have in order to put you in a place to seek change in your life. If nothing else meditation will give you a sense of peace after regular practice.
8. Be kind and generous to all including yourself
Being kind to others is known to benefit the person you are helping and yourself. When you know you are doing good by someone else and you see their genuine gratitude it can be a very rewarding feeling to know you have improved someone else’s life, even a slight bit.
To make change happen maybe consider looking at how you can help others in your life or possibly volunteer with a charity close to your heart.
9. Use past hurts and disappointments to fuel your drive
It is possible to say no matter who you are you will have had hurt, disappointment and even loss. No one can avoid these feelings regardless of financial status or fame. We all at one stage loose someone close to us. We all must deal with the emotional pain our lives give us. Sometimes our past hurts have been completely out of our control but rather than just accepting it is what it is, learn from the experience. Maybe get a little bit angry about it if it helps and to drive yourself to change your situation. I wrote about anger and how it can be a force for change here.
10. Indulge in your passion/hobby
As already mentioned, doing what you love will make you feel a little more at peace. If you master your hobby or passion it really can turn into a profession!
When Architecture didn’t work out for me, the founder of Seek A Therapy, I studied IT. This allowed me to teach it but it didn’t work out. When teaching didn’t work out I used skills in my previous experiences to become a web/graphics designer.
I used several website tutorials and just followed it as it was my passion but what is your passion? Is it in the arts? Is it writing? Maybe it’s getting knowledge of how to maintain good health?
Find out what your passion/ hobby is. Pursue gaining more knowledge of it. Then eventually, this will help you feel confident enough to overcome being afraid of change.
11.Final word on how to overcome being afraid of change
Be aware, you hold all the power of change in your life.
The power to pursue help. Power to seek therapy. Drive to get a job or a better one. The power to not accept what your life is right now is what it will always be :). You can change your life, you must believe it. Even though it is going to be challenging at times. And you are likely at times to want to give up. You mustn’t. It is completely possible to change your life, never give up!
Start today by taking some of the tips above that resonate with you best. Most importantly, always realise, creating change in your life belongs to you. You are the gatekeeper to an improved life! Best of luck.