How To Stop Feeling Lonely? We can all feel lonely and depressed at times, but some do more than others. The feelings of sadness and depression that can set in when you are alone can be unbearable but what if we started to look at alone time differently? Can we learn the benefit of the alone time rather than feelings of sadness? Rather than being alone being disappointing and upsetting, being alone can be extremely beneficial to your life that you may not have realized. In this blog post, I am going to discuss 10 new ways to look at being alone instead of being lonely.
1. Enjoy what you want to do whenever you want to
Probably one of the single greatest things about being alone is that you can do exactly what you want when you want. Having a life always full of people around you, you have to consider them as much as yourself. By having to be sociable it might stop you from watching that sport you enjoy so much, or that new game you wanted to play. They aren’t interested. You also have to make time to go for coffee because they ‘have a need to talk’ all take your time away from doing something you may really want to do. Instead of entertaining others, you will be able to do things you truly want to do.
How To Stop Feeling Lonely? Be alone and the ability to do what you want.
2. Get creative
All humans are creative, fact! Just because you didn’t go to art school doesn’t mean you are not creative. By being alone you can set aside time to invest your time and energy into creative projects or explore a new hobby. There are plenty of websites that help you learn new things such as udemy.com or lynda.com. Or maybe you just want to start writing? Have you thought about creating a blog yourself? You can so with wordpress.org or blogger for free! You don’t have to be a technical whizz to make this happen, in fact, you need to know very little code at all.
How To Stop Feeling Lonely? Invest time in more creative projects.
3. Look inward and invest time on developing self
When we are constantly working, constantly visiting friends and family how are we ever meant to look at ourselves and re-evaluate where we need to make improvements. By being alone you are able to look at yourself and spend time developing areas of your psyche you would like to improve. Maybe it is your physical fitness or maybe it is your understanding of the human spirit or maybe it is simply understanding why you felt a certain way in some situations and how can you reassess that thought.
How To Stop Feeling Lonely? Look inward rather than outward.
4. Alone Time Allows You To Reflect On People That Matter
Being alone can give you time to reflect on who is in your life and being grateful for them being there when you need them. It also helps you understand why you appreciate them so much. When you do see them then you notice their little ways and sense of being that you may otherwise take for granted.
Being alone allows you to appreciate those who matter.
5. Allows you to become stronger and independent
When you are with people all the time, when the time eventually comes, and you are on your own it can come as a bit of a shock for some. Being alone means you have no one else to rely on but yourself. You must do everything yourself and for that reason, you can’t put things off because you ‘feel afraid’ or ‘can’t be bothered’ otherwise it will never get done.
Being alone means you become independent and much stronger mentally because you have to face things you may not want to.
6. Allows you time to reflect on thoughts and change them
One thing you notice when you are alone is you can hear yourself thinking ( if you have no distractions like the television of course) more clearly. This ability helps you become more aware of how you think and if you are thinking positively or negatively? If you are aware of your thoughts being negative can you choose to change them even if you know its a lie?
So instead of thinking ‘I am alone, I feel so sad :(‘ can you think ‘I am alone but I have so much opportunity to do what I want! :)’.This is a great practice and is a part of medical treatment known as CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) where you actively try to change your thinking. If you are interested in this for constant negative thinking please contact your local GP.
How To Stop Feeling Lonely? Being alone allows you to spend time looking deeper into your thoughts and changing them.
7. Alone time allows you to meditate
This might seem like an odd one for some people, finding time to meditate can be difficult. Also, when you are just starting to try it it can, for some, feel quite embarrassing or unusual but you have nothing to be ashamed of. Meditation is great for people who are on their own as usually what happens when you meditate is you clear your mind of all thoughts and focus your attention on producing a slow steady breath. Research suggests, over time, it can help remove any feelings of loneliness and sadness.
Being alone allows you time to meditate.
8. Allows you to improve your work skills
Something that is often the case with the founder of Seek A Therapy is that he came across skills that he wished to acquire. He never really had the time to undertake them in his job so he tried to learn them things outside of work. If he was always with someone he would have no time to make his skills any better. He would be conscious of the person he was with and giving them attention. Find the skills you would like to improve upon and maybe, something that would be deemed suitable for finding your dream job in the future. After all, we spend most of our waking day in our job so how can you start to take steps towards getting a job you love?
By being alone it allows you to improve your skillset.
9. By being alone you learn to not be bothered by others ideology
A lot of very social people want to follow etiquette, social standards, and achieve great material wealth to impress all those who know them. Is this really what human living is about? Maybe I sometimes have too much time to think but even if I was a wealthy man, I have no time for pettiness like comparing what I have with the Jones. When you are alone you realize a lot of what society expects to be the ‘norm’ isn’t so normal and you don’t care about what others think of you. You begin to learn that you are happy in your own skin regardless of your surroundings and that is great contentment that cannot be discovered in any amount of wealth.
Being alone teaches you not to care about fitting in.
10. Being alone helps you appreciate what is really worth valuing.
Sometimes when alone we think about what we would really value is some company and acceptance from our fellow human beings. The more you study your supposed need for others, the more you realise that acceptance from others really doesn’t matter.
Social status has been important for generations as it was the way to generate wealth, find ‘a good partner’, and live a happy life.
With the advent of the internet and modern living, being a part of ‘the coolest people’ doesn’t matter as much anymore. What really matters is not others’ opinion of you but whether you stand up for what you believe in and that you are happy in your current situation. How you think about yourself is key for contentment with or without people.
Also, consider developing a gratitude journal. Being grateful for things in your life currently can help you focus on what you do have rather than what you don’t. You can find out more about the power of gratitude in a previous article.
Being alone allows you to evaluate what really matters in life and it isn’t social status.
How To Stop Feeling Lonely And Ways To Look At Being Alone
These are some of the ten views of why being alone can be a great thing but there are more. When you learn being alone is not to be feared or to feel isolated, you become empowered.
You don’t need the acceptance of other people, friends or family to make yourself feel good. You become courageous doing things you would otherwise not, being alone allows you to advance your skills and creativity. But best of all, always be able to enjoy what you want to do.
So next time you feel lonely remember, this is the perfect time to work on yourself and turn the alone time into something incredibly positive.
How do you view being alone? Do you have any other ideas of why being alone can actually be incredibly rewarding? Please comment below.
If you still feel lonely you don’t have to; There are many ways you can meet new people and be able to develop social connections. We will be writing an article about this subject very soon!
Alternatively, if you feel your loneliness is causing you mental health illness please speak to your local GP or search our database of therapists in your local area to help you on your journey.