We all need to have a profession, it doesn’t matter where you come from a profession affords you a certain standard of living and gives you a sense of purpose in life too. Unfortunately, there are sometimes people you will come across who for whatever reason, have decided to make your life more difficult and challenging by mistreating you.
This can lead to you feeling stressed, anxious, worthless and depressed and can have a hugely negative impact in your mental and emotional welfare.
When you start dreading getting out of bed every morning to face someone in your working environment it is time to take a stand and basically tell them to ‘f*ck off!’ in a very professional manner.
I have experienced workplace bullying first hand when I trained as a teacher there were many mind games undertaken by mentor and her colleague but what they didn’t know was that I know how to deal with a bully in a professional manner. Here are my tips to dealing with a work place bully before it destroys you and your health.
1. Create a book with notes, times and what happened and how it made you feel.
This is my no.1 top tip and should be started as soon as you suspect the person is starting to bully you. By creating a journal of their actions it helps you build a case against your bully. This workbook can then be given to someone else who is in charge of the business which can then be discussed with the culprit who is making your life hell.
2. Don’t show that they are getting to you
Bully’s thrive on seeing that they are winning and will hate it that you are coping okay with how they are mistreating you. Know that you are a good person and keep doing what you are doing, it may be that they are jealous of you in some way such as creating better work than them or being noticed for exceptional talent etc.
3. Don’t believe what they say
Bullies can be very cruel and will say the most hurtful things, sometimes not even directly but suggest things instead to play mindgames with you. I know it is difficult but feel the emotion you are feeling ,let it in and then let it go and change the thought from one of “they said this about me!?” to “silly people, I am a good person, I know I have done good”. Basically stay positive and keep focusing on your positive aspects no matter how someone tries to bring you down.
4. Realise workplace bullies are weak
Have you ever noticed something about a bully? They only thrive when they are surrounded by others? A person who bullies or hurts someones emotional and mental state of mind is a weak person because they try to bring someone else down to make themselves feel good.
It is sometimes good to realise that your bully is not as powerful as they like to think they are and can be quite liberating to you.
5. Don’t keep it to yourself
Once you feel you have built a case against your bully its time to speak to someone. Don’t fear loosing your job because if your manager or boss doesn’t take it seriously they are in breach of the law and they also aren’t worth working for if they don’t take their employee’s welfare seriously.
6. If it doesn’t change you change
If the situation doesn’t change and the bully doesn’t get reprimanded then its time to move on. There are plenty of businesses out there in this world just because you leave doesn’t mean they have won it simply means that your health is more important than a petty fool ruining a stage of your life.
Dealing with a work place bully correctly
Dealing with a bullying experience is really really difficult. I remember feeling extremely trapped in my situation feeling they had power over my career but by following the above steps I ensured that she never was able to do the same thing to a future teaching student which was more important to me than vengeance.
It was due to this person along with my experience of struggling to find architect part 1 work at the foot of the recession that caused my initial mental breakdown and started my social anxiety that I still manage today nearly 4 years later thus was the trauma the experience had had on me.
Looking back I now know it was a life lesson for me. I had something to learn and that was I need to be more confrontational/assertive with people that are cruel but remain kind and hardworking to the people that really matter in life and also stop feeling sensitive to what people say to or about me. I have always been the kind of person who wants to help people and it can be seen as a weakness but its actually something that takes great strength.
Remember you do not need to keep suffering, tell someone about your experience and if you can’t look at applying for new roles, your life and health is more important!
How do you manage your workplace bullying?